Bruised and broken

Well, bruised at least. Fell off a ladder yesterday. Our ceilings are 3 metres high. I was finishing off a wardrobe I’m installing and was stupidly near the top rung of the ladder, shifted my weight and down I went. Fell onto my shoulders and then crunched my back. I yelled for Tricky but the fall had knocked the breath out of me. I floundered on the floor like a stunned fish, gasping for air while Tricky screamed at me. I thought I had broken something for sure but after a few seconds realised I could move ok and could talk and was still breathing. Saw a doctor today who said I am just bruised- nothing broken, no permanent damage.  Thank God (insert deity of your choice). Tricky is most relieved.
I’m going to say a prayer tonight cause someone was watching over me. And I’ve still gotta get that wardrobe finished. 
The moral of this story is, like it says on the DANGER stickers on all new ladders. “Do not step above this rung”.

Mice and cheese.

A limerick.

I’m a little mouse named Keith.
I circumcise men with my teeth.
I don’t do it for leisure,
or any kind of pleasure.
I do it for the cheese underneath.

My beloved Tricky, sent me an SMS message today. A lovely modern-day limerick about a little mouse, dicks and smegma. I had a laugh and shared it with a few friends one of whom insisted I pass it on to her immediately. She reeled off her number. I keyed it in but she didn’t seem sure.  Are you sure that’s your number? mmm.. I think so. Are you positive? Yes, I’m sure. I pressed the send button and it was gone, off into the ether. We both stood there staring blankly at her ‘phone , waiting for the beep that would signal the arrival of her new message.  It never came.  I was sure there was some old Granny somewhere fumbling with her mobile ‘phone, reading her message and thinking to herself ..Mouse, cheese?? I don’t get it.. Or maybe she had a bit of a laugh herself and sent it on to Grandad.

Sometimes, I wish there was a BACK button on my ‘phone. Or a big red ABORT button.

11 weeks prior.

11.50pm we’ll be setting off on our adventure of a lifetime. We’ll experience a mixture of emotions ranging from excitement to sadness and undoubtedly, fear. As I write this on the 7th June with 11 weeks still to go until our adventure begins, I can only imagine what’s to come! I imagine there’ll be alot of touching of friends, family and eachother at the airport, at the gateway to the international lounge. This will be hours yet before we leave, maybe only 1 hour but we’ll be forced to say goodbye early just so that we’re ontime for our departure. We’ll sit together having something alcoholic and will be full of smiles and tears. No doubt I’ll be taunting Tim with the possibility that we’ll be sitting in the middle isle of the aircraft surrounded by fat people with pre-schoolers. We’ll be cuddling and saying, can you believe this time has finally arrived! We’re actually here and we’re leaving our home and our pets and family and friends to go to another world!!!! We’ll talk about what we can expect to eat on the plane and the possibility of Tim snoring during the flight...I’ll tease Tim about this a fair bit I’m sure. We will have packed sleeping tablets to help us sleep throughout the flight and I’ll be scared that I’m going to have to get up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night due to my reliably unreliable pint sized bladder. We’ll probably spend a bit of time throwing about the idea of our luggage going missing and stuffing up our very well planned 1st ten days. All in all I think what we’ll experience will be immense relief. Tim will say, “I can’t believe I don’t have to work for 3 months” and we’ll instantly be in a state of relaxation. During takeoff or beforehand, Tim will say, I’m a bit scared of flying, it’s unnatural, something so heavy being able to fly”. We’ll hold, stroke and squeeze hands intensly once we put our seatbelts on and especially during takeoff. Soon there will be some discussion as to what Tim is hoping to buy in Hong Kong (secretly of course he’s hoping to get the worlds most sexy, effective, and budget worthy laptop) and I’ll encourage his excitment meanwhile never really understanding what he’s actually talking about. Without a doubt there will be some discussion of joining the mile high club and the difficulties involved in such a quest. 

It’s nice to imagine what will be happening for us during the start of our big adventure...fairly predictable, that is of course unless we have a great big stress fight just after we say goodbye to friends and family… Somehow I don’t think so, but let me just say that if infact we do, I can tell you right now, it will have been Tim’s fault...a prediction I’m sure of.