I’m a genius.
Pure and simple. I am. I’ve had an idea.
For those of you who don’t know how I spend my daylight hours, I’m a pharmacist. I spend a good deal of my time reviewing the pharmaceutical intakes of people being admitted into a large general hospital. Most of these people, I have come to collectively know as, affectionately, The Wrinklies.
Now, it has only recently struck me just how many medicines some of these The Wrinklies take. Some of them take literally handfuls of the stuff. Some of them put the tablets or capsules into their morning porridge or their evening mashed potato, some of them chew them up, some of them spit them out when nurse is not looking and some of them just say “I’m not taking any more fucking tablets, piss off” (its true, some of them do say that) but mostly they just shove it in their gob with a sip of their beverage of choice. Usually, this beverage is a nice cup of tea (although, sometimes its a pint of Real Ale or a shot of single malt). Most of The Wrinklies complain at one time or another about how many tablets they take and perhaps that they might start to rattle soon. After exhaustive research, I’ve also discovered that The Wrinklies are also partial to biscuits and seem to be especially fond of digestive biscuits, or if they’re feeling particularly saucy, chocolate digestive biscuits.
My idea is this. Take all of those medicines, add some wheatgerm and some sugar, and a little margarine (thats what digestive biscuits seem to be made of) compress it into a biscuit shape, slather it in milk chocolate. Serve it up once, twice or three times a day with a steaming cup of tea and there you have it. No complaining, no rattling, just pigs-in-shit.
Or Wrinklies with a cup of tea and a chocolate digestive biscuit, same thing.